Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Splitend Life


I began dating Kaleb almost two decades ago. I was living in Orange when a co-worker (friend) set me up on blind date with a boy that she was friends with also. Due to several circumstances I was NOT looking for Mr. Right; but merely going on this date that would utlimately,in my mind, be a one time "favor" to her.

Kaleb and I had several phone calls before our date. I was bluntly honest about all the things I hated, all the pet peeves I had and pretty much I put up every single boundary there could be for a successful date. For some reason, after I had pretty much told given him a laundry list of my hates he still said "well, I will see you on Friday".

Friday came and we met for dinner with a group of friends from work and their boyfriends. When we met at our friends house there set Kaleb - wearing a Jimmy Hendrix t-shirt and jeans.

Remember when I said that in just a few phone calls I had pretty much told Kaleb everything I hated ---well Jimmy Hendrix and his fans happened to be on that list! Yet, there Kaleb set with a cute little grin when he said "thought you might like the shirt?".

I should have known at this moment that this silly guy would be the cure for all that ailed my heart at the time.

After several months, I knew we were getting more serious. As much as I tried to push him away - he just became the constant in my life. I refused to call him, I refused to plan anything with him, I refused to ask him for anything for months----and yet he still called me, made a point to plan things for us to do (even if it was just a coffee at Gary's) and pretty much did what I needed WITHOUT me asking.

As we became more serious and our relationship became more evidient that it was moving towards permanent steps, my sister encouraged (well, if you know my sister you know that when I say she encourged that meant she insisted) that I open up to Kaleb about myself. Pretty much every little aspect of my regrets, my insecurities and my hopes and wants. She said put everything on the table now so there can never be a "why didn't you tell me about that" later.

I had tons of insecurities, failures and mistakes that I poured out tearfully that evening. I think once I started, I figured I would never see him again so I might as well just make this a confession of all my fears, insecurities and past mistakes. My therapy at the expense of a boyfriend's future in my life :-) It lasted for some time and Kaleb just sat listening - no expression, no questions, and no input. Just silently he sat there.

I was crying, because I had just pinpointed everything that I was unpleased with myself about, and he asked me "Are you done with that story now?". I said "yes, I am sorry to just laid all that on you". Then Kaleb said the words that captured my heart forever "I don't care about any of that stuff....It is all just SPLITENDS." (Those were his exact words which were imbedded into my heart, my mind and my being forever). He also told me how much he cared about me, loved me (I think he said love...), and then he said "do you wanna go do something?".

Maybe they were tragic things, maybe they were just my fears that scared me, but he saw them for what they were and simply let his care for wipe away that disappoint in myself.

You see Kaleb did the very thing that made me know that he was my forever love.....He Loved Me, Splitends and all. He never acted as if they were not there and he also never asked me to get the "cut off". He just said that all the things that worried me were merely the splitends of life that he cared nothing about. He cared about Me!


I guess from that moment on I knew Kaleb would always be the Prince Charming! He rescued me (Splitends and all) from myself! And continues each day to overlook a splitend or few that I see in myself (and are apparent) and loves me. Can't ask for much more that that!