Last Day - Challenge One - Question 30

I am a little sad that the Challenge # One is over. I was thankful for taking a look at my new year and helping mold my 2011 in to a year of discovery for myself, my family and my faith.

I wonder how many of the CWF ladies particiapted? I can't wait to find out at our next meeting?

"In what area of your life do you most need change, and what will you about it this year?"

My fitness. Already wrote a long blog on this so I am not going to re-write. Just reminding myself that I really want to make some changes here. I am going to get started soon.......

Thru the Bible - Exodus

Several weeks have passed by and we are to the end of January and already done with the book of Exodus. The time is flying by. The three chapters a day, the rich discussion in my home and with my church family is making this journey very exciting for me.

So, what impacted me about the book of Exodus was the detail God gave his people. I think of a child learning to bake cookies. The flour gets every where, the cookies have egg shells in the them and there are many finger prints on everything. It would be easier to just NOT allow the kids to bake; but they would miss the effort and how much sweeter the finished product is when they have participated. Since God could have willed any event to happen, how precious that he gives us the chance to roll up our sleeves and participate in His plan. How even more impressive that he is teaching foundational lessons to His people so that they would understand the life and death of Jesus Christ generations later.

The plagues. I have to admit I had a little bit of a difficult time with the plagues. I finally came to reconcile my understanding of God's plan by trusting that God had a purpose. For the first time, my study led me to understand that the plagues had a direct correlation with Egyptian gods that God was showing Himself to be mightier than them to the people. He was proving his majesty before their eyes. I just struggle with the fact that so many awkard things had to happen.

I don't understand how the people where able to "create" some of the same things with their magicians. This made me even more afraid of these types of events.

I questioned why there would be locust in Revelations if God said that there would never be a plague of them again. Kelly was really helpful in looking up the answer to me on this one.

I was convicted with why I did not keep the Sabbath holy any longer. John explained one time the difference between why the Jewish worship on Saturday and us on Sunday. I am not sure where I stand on this particular issue right now with regards to housework, cooking, cleaning and etc. It is listed as a lasting convenant but no one seems to make that big of a deal of it.

Loved looking at the fact that so many of our laws are based upon biblical principals. Exodus is a great example of the American judicial system in the simplest of forms.

I loved the verse that talked about the fact that Moses face was radiant because he spoke to the Lord. I would have loved to have heard their conversations.

My favorite verse was Exodus 14: 14 "The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still".

Now, on the Leviticus.....

Challenge One - Question 30

"What is the most important new item you want to buy this year?"

I have already answered this question and the answer is a HOME!

When a Man Loves A Woman

I am watching one of my favorite all time movies - When a Man Loves a Woman. Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia do a great job. There is a great sound track to the movie, good acting, great memorable lines and many other things to love. Yet, the story line is unbelievable to me how realistic it seems.

Meg Ryan is an acholohic. Andy Garcia is a loving, devoted and endearing spouse. He is trying to give her everything, be her everything and love her past her own issues. He is doing just what a good husband should - except it is not enough.

I love the struggle of Meg Ryan having to learn to accept herself. She has to learn to live on her own and to be the person she needs to be for herself so that she can be a better person, teacher, mother, friend and wife.

I have never struggled with acholism directly; but have the seen the effects of it on people I love dearly. I don't know the parts about that are accurate enough for the pain that this disease can cause families.

Yet, I do know first hand that I am only a better person when I am accepting who I am(flaws and all). When I hide the struggles I have or pretend they do not exist the ugly monster of self-loathing will appear. Even when I try to look at myself thru the eyes of someone else, I can be very disappointed. Even more, when someone you love tries to tell you it is all okay in love without understanding the validation of why you are feeling the way you are - it hurts too.

I struggle but I have found a few things that work for me when this feeling overtakes me:
1. Knowing the God sees the struggle, knows any pain and already has a rememdy for me is comforting.
2. Reminding myself that every single imperfection is what has made me be who I am. When I think of the fact that because of who I am - I get to call certain people my family and friends it makes me smile. Without the imperfections some of those relationships would have never been found.
3. A glass of soda and some chips also work well in this situation. If it is an emergency, well Cherry cheesecake or butter cream frosting can always do the trick - :-)

Seriously though, I just love a movie that makes me feel connected and understanding. I cry, I smile, and I hope for the characters to reconcile their differences. It is a great love story.

Challenge ONE - Question 29

"If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it"

First question- I honestly have no idea

Second question - I guess it would depend on the person and what the advice was.

Third question - I would HOPE that if it was sound advice from a valued source I would listen to it.

I guess I did not really answer this question, but it was the best that I could do :-)

Challenge One - Question 28

"What one biblical doctrine do you want most to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?"

(Cartoon from www.mightymag.com)

As most people know, my church is collectively reading thru the bible this year. As we do, I am hoping that I will learn much more biblical doctrine than I know today.

To start though, I think I am struggling most with why we don't do somethings that God's word clearly says not to do or to do. Are we, as the body of Christ, watering down God's word to make us fit into the world better? Are we falling back on the excuse that says "that is old testament law and no longer applies" because we just don't want to do something?

My biggest fear is that "my religion" might be allowing me to hold to doctrine that is not biblical. If God says ALWAYS and FOREVER, then I am certain that he actually didn't mean until I say so later?

With that being said, I do understand that some laws of the Old Testament no longer apply once Christ was born and became the living sacrifice for me. Troy did a great job the other day explaining the difference between some laws are eternal and some laws were dissolved because of God's provision in other ways.

Yet....

But...

However.....

What forever laws am I neglecting because of either "not wanting to" or just "ignorance"?

I don't want to read God's word over and over and miss the point of what God is telling me. I can cling to all the encouragement the bible gives, memorize the history and the parables but if I am missing the INSTRUCTION then that is a problem.

So, for this year I am going to begin to compile a list of God's instructions. If I am not doing them for a reason, I want to know why. If it no longer applies,then I want to understand what took the place of the previous instructions. Most importantly, I want to begin to pray for the strength, the understanding and the acceptance of what I might not be ready to do. As we all know, the fact is I am a sinner and not perfect. I will fail BUT I would rather fail trying!

P.S. No this does not mean I am become legalistic or a freak. We are not going to move into a cult society. Just going to try to live life the best way I know how!

Challenge One - Question 27

"What the single most important thing that you could do to improve your commute this year?"

I love my commute. During my morning commute, I talk to my mom every morning of my life. She and I check in with one another and it is a wonderful way to start my day.

During my mornings I can laugh my butt off, cry like a baby or just spend a few minutes complaining or rejoicing over something that is happening in my life. In my approximate 30 minutes of a drive each morning I get some "mommy time" with my mom! I get the pep talk I might need or the wise advice on a number of situations.

The most precious part of this time is that I get to find out what is happening with her and my Daddy. I get to know they are okay and be a part of their life.

As for my commute in the morning, I could not think of anything better to do with my time!

For the afternoon, I try to take care of any calls I need to make, appointments to be made, or petty/routine issues that I need to do. It is the few minutes I can handle business during "work hours" of a normal business.

Of all the things I want to improve, I am actually pretty happy with my commute. Plus, if all else fails I turn the music up, open my sunroof and sing like a crazy women! It is just what the doctor would order on some days!

Challenge ONE - Question 26

"To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount of time this year?"

The CWF (Christian Women's Fellowship) at our church. I love the ladies of NBCC and am excited to be a part of a group of ladies who are always there for one another.

Beth, Quit Stepping On My Toes!!!

I am a big fan, wait no a big follower, of Beth Moore (Yes, I have been listening in church on Sunday Mornings). I feel like her Bible Stuides are written just for me at times. Like after a deep conversation, she just went home and wrote a few chapters to encourage me.

Well, last night I all of a sudden felt like she was stepping on my toes!

At first, I was thinking she might have overheard a conversation I had with Kaleb regarding a few topics that he and I have discussed in the last few weeks. I am now pretty sure that she read my diary; because she was just too close to stepping all over my toes! Okay - I admit, this is likely not the case either because I have already heard her talk about the same things before.

I guess in this season of my life, I really was impacted more by this study on David than I was the previous time that I did it. I think the depth of where her words hit me were in places where I needed to stop and think about a few things.

Even though Beth highlighted a few things that I really did not want to deal with, I do appreciate her. I will be thankful that God uses her in a such a global way and allows her to personally connect with myself and so many others.

I will not even hold last night against her; but really Beth, please quit stepping on my toes!

Challenge One - Question 25

"What is the one skill you want to learn or improve this year?"

I want to pick back up quilting. I learned several years ago and then just stopped. I really want to finish my kids t-shirt quilts this year.

Challenge One - Questions 24

"What is the most important trip that you want to take this year?"

I don't have a specific trip in mind that is the most important. Actually, I am looking forward to the several mini-trips that we have planned for our family. Some weekend trips and a few longer. Just excited to get away with my family and enjoy life.

Challenge One - Question 23

"In what area of your life do you most need growth, and what will you do about it this year?"

I want to grow in my maturity with regards to people.

I have a REALLY hard time with being "WARM". When it comes to people, I either like or do not like a person. I can't seem to find the middle ground of just letting them be.

Why?

I guess I just feel like I don't want to fake it. I either want to go 100% in a relationship or just forget the relationship (and person) all together. I don't want to waste any moment of my life getting to know someone or understanding them to see if the friendship (or basic relationship of any kind) can be turned into something. (Not very Christian, I know)

It is not fair of me and I am sure that I have missed the blessings of a relationship because of it many times. I also could have saved myself some disppointment by backing off from a friend that I chose to go 100% for at the wrong time.

So, I am hoping this year as I evaluate the relationships in my life I can have more maturity about the situations I have with people. I can understand that while someone (personal, family, business or even a checker at the grocery store) may not be a fixture in my life - they are a part of it. If just one minute, one hour, one week or forever - I want to learn to accept their existence and embrace the value that it brings.

Maggie Says....

Have you ever missed a turn while using your GPS and immediately heard the voice say "U-Turn at the next left" or maybe it automatically re-routes you to a whole new path because a quick turn around is not available? It is a comfortable feeling having the direction of someone telling you how to get there. To me, it is even more valuable to have "Maggie" (what we call our GPS) tell me if I can make a quick correction or if changing paths is what is the best.

I wish life had a "Maggie" to tell me directions. There are so many times when I just don't know where to go and even more times when I want to know if it is time to "re-direct" myself. I would love to save myself a few u-turns, miss a couple of road bumps and avoid the "delays" all together.

Just this morning, I asked God to give me direction about a few things. I want a clear path with regards to a couple decisions in my life.

It was within minutes that I received 2 e-mails, 1 skype conversation and 1 phone call that I felt was directing me along my path. In that 30 minutes I learned:

- I might be heading down a path that is leading to a dead end.
- There is a exit right ahead, if I decide to take the turn.
- There is rest stop, if I need it right ahead.
- A comforting voice telling me my "delays" are only that ....short delays.

I was comforted to know that even though I might not always hear a "Maggie" in the background of my daily ride, I do have a navigator that knows all. Thank you God.

Now, I am just hoping to find the volume button on my God navigation system so that I don't miss any turns!

Challenge One - Question 22

"What single blessing from God do you want to seek most earnestly this year?"

DIRECTION - Short and sweet!

The day we played hookie from school & work....

Today, the kids and I took off for an overnighter in Orlando. Kenadee has a cheer competition in the morning and her team was staying overnight in the area. It makes it a little easier to be there on time and ready for the competition without the drive in the morning.

We checked in this afternoon to the hotel. We were greeted by our personal towel elephant. He was adorable.

e had lunch at Friendly's. We ate at a Friendly's for the first time a few years ago and it has become one of our favorite stops in Orlando since then.

Later, we got a chance to let the kids play in the hotel's waterpark. They had a really good time on the tubing slides and just hanging out in the pool.

Sometimes, life becomes all about work or commitments. It is nice to take a day and play hookie. Let's face it - these smiles are the reason for everything. The only thing that could have made this day better was if Kaleb was with us. We missed him.

Now, off to bed...

Challenge One - Question 21

"What one thing do you regret from last year, and what will you do about it this year?"

I guess the main thing that I can think of is that when my dad had surgery, I did not make it there. I mean I tried, but for some reason I just was not able to make it there before he had surgery.

My Daddy is the most amazing man and I love him so much. The thought of not being there when I so wanted to be was so painful and broke my heart.

Obviously, between Kenadee's trip to the ER for her broken arm that day, the airlines refusing to let me on the plane b/c I did not make it to the airport in enough time and all else that happened on that day there was not much I could do. Yet, when I walked out of that airport I felt defeated and disappointed in myself.

How could I be in a place where getting home to my parents was out of my reach? I felt guilt, I felt regret and I felt anger.

This year, I can't do anything about that situation but I do plan on making some better plans for "emergency situations". I want to research my options, have a game plan and be able to get there if I ever need to again. I am just praying that this 40 years down the line.

I will know the plane schedules, possible routes for a faster trip home and the best place to rent a car. If I ever need to be there, I will - God willing :0)

Challenge One - Question 20

"What book, in addition to the bible, do you want to read this year?"

I love to read and I read such a variety of books that it is hard to pick just one book. So, I will list a few that I hope to get to read this year. Here is just a start to my list :-)

Essentials for Life for Women by Marcia Ford
Find Your Strongest Life by Robert Whitlow
Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King
Between a Rock and a Grace Place: Divine Surprises in the Tight Spots of Life by Carol Kent
Decision Points by George W. Bush
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
Apple Turnover Murder by Joanne Fluke

Challenge ONE- Question 19

"What’s one thing you could do this year to enrich the spiritual legacy you will leave to your children and grandchildren?"

I hope that my children learn by example the things that I do RIGHT (not the things that I do wrong). I hope that they will look at my life and see how desperately I want God to be in control and how much I want God's will to be done in my life. For that, I pray for God's grace to allow me years of walking with Him and showing HIMSELF faithful even when I am not. To that, I hope any success, any joy or any happiness is credited to HIM so that my children know that all good things in my life were the result of God's love.

In my own personal way, I am keeping journals for my kids that show the numerous prayer requests that God has answered in my life and for those that I have prayed for. I hope that by seeing my account of God's faithfulness to my prayer life they will leave their burdens/their hopes and dreams in God's hands.

I also hope that my legacy leaves not only my footprints but that we have surrounded our kids with others whose faith is an encouragement to their spiritual future.

I also saw a really cute idea about how to incorporate survival scriptures for kids as they grow up and I am working on this one. I heard a really cute idea from somewhere (I think a book I read or at Women of Faith this past year) about how one mother would weekly place a "scripture note" on their child’s pillow with a little love note. I am working on beginning this tradition for the upcoming teen years because I want my kids to know just how much I adore them and love them.

Challenge ONE - Question 18

"What is the one new way that you could be a blessing to your pastor (or to another who ministers to you) this year?"

I want to be a blessing by showing my commitment to their work. To thank them more often and to show my appreciation for their hard work. I know that they (and their families) work hard to be available to our church body and I want them to know they are appreciated.

I also will continue to pray for them and their ministry. I believe God has placed them each at NBCC for this season and I want to pray for God's blessings on them as they minister to our church family.

Challenge One - Question 17

"What is the single most important thing you can do to improve the quality of your work life this year?"

I know that the thing that I need to do most to improve the quality of my work life is to make sure that I am organized! I love having a regular routine that I follow because I love the feeling of a completed task!

Nothing in my job is more gratifying to me then knowing that I did a good job. I do tons of different things at work and at times am all over the board with what my responsiblities are. I take pride in accomplishing the task that my boss gives me and even more pride in accomplishing task before he asks me!

So, this year I will continue my quest to organize myself & my work flow so that I am able to mark off my "to do's"! This will improve not only the quality of my work life but the quality of my work output.

Sibling Bonds

Sibling relationships—and 80 percent of Americans have at least one— outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust.
Erica E. Goode

I am one lucky girl to have began my life with siblings. They are all OLDER than I am (grin) and each have impacted my life in ways that I am uncertain that they have ever imagined. They each were entirely different and yet still all the same. They are family.

So, here is my little tribute to those whom I hold dear in my heart and who I will always love.

My Big Sister - Kimberly "Aka Kim"

The best way to describe my sister is "Mama Bear"! She would take in anyone to her home and make them family. To Kim, a stranger is family who just has not had a chance to make memories with. As a child, she was always considered by me to be "cool". When she moved out, she always remained "connected" to home.

Kim and I are a lot a like in many ways; but there are some ways where aspire to be more like her than I am.. She has always been a great example of giving of herself and is a wonderful example of how to pick up and go on. (She even gives and gives when you are screaming - No, no, no! - Ha ha ha)

I am extremely proud of her. She has raised 2 absolutely amazing young women and is still raising her step-son. She is head over heels in love with her grandson. In the past few years she went back to college to get her RN degree and is a gifted nurse. I am certain her patients feel her love as much as her medical care.

No matter what life brings, we will always remember our favorite saying " Weeeee lllloooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee each other"!

Dennis - AKA "Bubba" or as I call him "B".

Bubba was always my hero. My mom says that from when I was born he always gave me extra attention and was always so sweet to me. From as early as I can remember, B took me every where he went. He spoiled me with gifts. He was the best big brother a girl could ask for.

Bubba married his high school sweet heart and they have 8 children. He was born to be dad! From pulling magic quarters from ears to taking the time to just talk, he was always there for me. As he grew older, he was definately a favored uncle with his "big kid" attitude.

I regret that years have passed and I get to see him very rarely because of distance. I miss him very much.

I admire his attitude for success. Kim says he was born under a lucky star, but I know he just makes things happen! His love for God is the most admirable thing about him. He lives his life for Christ and has raised his family to do the same. He has a passion for life that I admire! I love him now and always.

Shane -

Shane can be described easily - He is HEART! I don't mean he has a heart, I mean Shane is defined as heart. Shane would give the shirt off his back to anyone in need.

Shane has gone thru tons. He has survived being in war, survived tragedy, dealt with pain and yet there is not one human in the world that I know that always seems content. Every time I talk to Shane, he makes me remember the simple things in life are the most treasured.

I don't get to see him that often either but I know in my heart that there will be future times when he and I will sit and visit together. Shane, an old soul, will always be loved by me for being my big brother! He will always be admired by me for being content with where God places him and willing to wait for the blessings to come.

I love each of your dearly - Kim, Bubba & Shane!

Challenge One - Question 16

"What is your most important financial goal this year, and what is the most important step that you can take this year towards achieving it?"

My most important financial goal this year is to ensure that we keep ourselves in a position to purchase the home that we want to buy. (Well, that is if I ever find a home that I really want!)

I admit that I have several other things that I consider making financial decisions on but I am learning the art of restraint. This means using our credit wisely so that we get the best interest rate, keeping our savings where we have our down payment and NOT settling for something that I don't want. The last is proving to be the hardest.

I just have the feeling that I am going to drive up the driveway and just now that I have found our new home. Just hoping we can get this done before the end of the summer :-)

Thru The Bible in 2011 - Genesis

Our church is reading thru the bible is 2011. I can already see the fruits of the labor in myself, my family and my fellow church members. It is giving a community of people an amazing experience together. To read God's word, to ask questions and to ponder what God is trying to teach you.

I thought it might be fun to blog what I am getting out of each book of the bible as we read thru in 2011. Since I just finished Genesis this morning, I thought it was time to share what Genesis has meant to me or what I have learned that I want to share. (I am sure there will be many things that I need to leave between God & I; but who knows?)

- I had never thought to ask how old Eve was when she died. She just kind of disappears from the story.

- A funny "Troyism" was that we might have had other animals on earth when Noah came out the ark but he was hungry and who knows what he chose to eat? I got such a laugh from that.

- That very soon God noticed the fact that man could not be alone and created woman. He had a plan for marriage and the exclusiveness of relationships at the very moment that men were made. This just reinforces to me that God will always favor helping marriages succeed because this event was not a by-product of his creation. It was the plan!

- I love Genesis 4:7. I think for my children this is one the verses that I hope to impress upon their hearts. For me, I will live accordingly to this verse as much as I can. My favorite verse from the book of Genesis reads "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

- I was saddened by the number of times that God's heart was described to filled with pain or aching over humankind.

- That Abraham's request to "bargain" for his fellow man was honored by God. Encourages me to pray for the people in my life because God is willing to listen.

-I loved when Abimelech's & his people said "We saw clearly that the Lord was with you". Other stories tell of people seeing God's favor on someone but I wonder if it was always seen "clearly". I so want to live a life where people could say that they saw "Clearly" God was with me.

- It was interesting the Esau's wife was a source of grief for Isaac and Rebekah. This encourages me to pray for the future relationships with my children's spouses.

- I loved that when Jacob kissed Rachel he began to weep aloud. I felt that way with Kaleb in months to come; but I love that Jacob was so certain of his love for Rachel that he wept aloud.

- That the favored people of God did acquire wealth. When we are seeking God's will and not man's will God can bless us with worldly things also.

- That Schechem was willing to give any amount of money for Dinah but he did not value her enough to protect her virtue.

- That Joseph was able to forgive his brothers for selling him and attributed the events to God's greater purpose for him.

- That the Pharaoh (who was in charge of everything in Egypt) honored the fact that Jacob made Joseph swear to carry him home to be buried. He could have arranged for it to be done or told Joseph "not a good time" but instead he insisted that Joseph go and carry out the wish of his father.

For me, Genesis is wonderful in that from the very beginning there was a plan for the end. I don't know rather my time is closer to that of the end or that of Genesis but I am glad that God has a plan.

Challenge ONE - Question 15

"Who do you most want to encourage this year?"

This year, in addition to my family, I really want to encourage my Secret Sister. I love taking on the commitment of having someone that I pray for, buy little gifts for and encourage during the year; but the problem I have is that while I always remember to keep my Secret Sister in my prayers I do not always remember to let her know that I want her to be encouraged.

I want her to be encouraged because she pours out so much of herself. I want to know her joys and pray for her pains. I want for her to feel loved even if she never knows who it is coming from.

Challenge One - Question 14

"What habit would you most like to establish this year?"

I want to establish a habit of exercise!

Breaking The Cycle

I have MANY flaws. I know what they are and likely am currently beating myself up over them. So, I already know that I have enough of my own issues to handle before pointing out others but tonight the impact of these "life cycles" are getting a little too close for comfort for me.

Today, I was faced one again with the acceptance of something that is actually one of my biggest fears. In loving the person and the comments that they made, I could not help but want to scream - THIS CYCLE NEEDS TO BE BROKEN! The affirmation of the actions is exactly WHY this particular situation continues to be encouraged within this persons circle of influence. (Could I be more politically correct in this statement?)

I have no intention of going into the details of this particular situation. I do however wonder what the correct way to handle lovingly rebuking an action is when you fear the influence could have a direct impact on your own family? I know pray!

Challenge ONE - Question 13

"What is the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?"

I got tickled at my sweet friend Bethany the other day when we were talking about goals for 2011 and she blurted out something about having hers. She then said sweetly, well I have more then one, let me give them to you in order. If you know Bethany, then you could likely hear the change in the tone of her voice as she converted from shy/timid to confident/determined!

Anyways, when I went to answer this questions I felt the same way as Bethany did about goals. There is not just one answer so I will give you a list!

NEEDS:

1. To inventory those people in my life and determine the value of our relationships. Simply put, I don't intend to dispose of any relationships but to categorize the importance those people should play in my life and the life of my family.

2. To increase my own understanding of where I need to be in 20 years from now. I have already admitted that I am better at short term goals and goals that I can see in the near future. I need to determine where I believe God wants me in 20 years so that I am working towards that path.

3. I need to make a healthier life style for myself and to be an example to my children.

4. I NEED to stop and listen more often.

Not sure all these are considered "burdens" but desires. Might call for a new list based upon that word!

Challenge One - Question 12

What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what's one way that you could simplify in that area?

My work is the one place that needs simplifying. I already have a plan to simplify by recreating my "To-Do List". I use to have a very defined routine and over the last few months I have gotten away from this.

This week has been terrific in getting back on track with my plan. I can handle tons of last minute task as long as my routine task are never out of control!

Watch out work place, you have been "simplified"! Love it!

Amazing Women - Just love them!

Tonight we had a CWF officer meeting. I knew it would be a long meeting before it even started because we were tackling the annual task of setting the calendar. I will admit thought that after 4 hours of planning there is nothing I would have rather been doing tonight.

These ladies CRACK ME UP! Seriously, I almost peed my pants in laughter because of these wonderful women. From ages spanning from mid-tweenties to seventies, these women are some of the most hillarious women I get the pleasure of knowing.

Tonight, I was just reminded how fortunate I am that God has blessed me with women who encourage me and inspire me.

This year might not mean anything to anyonelse but I am LOVING the AMAZING RACE! You never know what they will come up! (Espcially Ms. Jessie)

Thank you God for each one of them and all the ways that they bless me!

CHALLENGE ONE - Question 11

"What is the most important decision that you need to make this year?"

How to get back to what I feel like is balance. How to give 100 % everywhere I commit myself to. If I can't then it is not something that I need to be doing.

The biggest decision will be letting go of the things that do not allow me ot have balance.

My "Birth"day !!!

It has been a quite a ride since January 11, 1987! On this day, 24 years ago, I was at my little church in Texas giving my life to Christ. I remember it like it was yesterday and I hope to never forget this day as long as I live!

The song that was sung was "Just As I Am" (still one of my favorite invitation hymns ever). Brother Dale was the minister who took my confession of faith on that day with such love and such a sweet spirit. He also gave me a Spiritual Survival Kit that day and it was a treasured gift. A small booklet that helped me see my salvation as a something that needed more than a one day confession but a life long journey. I remember working thru it with my mom and being so thrilled.

The day I was baptized, I was blessed to have my mom there with me. She had been a believer for many years but never had been baptized and was encouraged to share that moment with me. It is one the bonds with her that is the strongest and most meaningful to me. I so wish I had a photograph of this moment; but it is in my heart captured always.

One of the funniest things about that day was that I can still remember it was the first day that we were in the newly built sanctuary. One of the Cook boys, myself and my mom were to be the first baptized that Sunday. Brother Dale, who happen to by my best friend's dad, pinned my name to my sleeve so that he would not forget any of our names. I remember thinking how funny that was seeing how many hours that I spent over at their home for sleepovers, play dates and church activities. Several years later that became priceless to me because I took it to mean that he knew what a special moment that was and how wanted it to be just right!

I have had my moments where God and I were not seeing eye to eye (okay, I was being stubborn) but from that moment I have always felt his peace within me. I have never doubted the love He gave for me. I wish my moments of not acting as if I knew this were fewer but I thank him for the days in between where he walked alongside me and gently guided me.

Today is day that I am overjoyed! Never will I know if there is a tomorrow but because of His grace I know eternity is waiting for me.

Mixed Feelings

I am having some mixed feelings about several things right now. I can't even verbalize what they are and they may be likely insignificant but I can not not help but want to figure out why I am having mixed feelings about these things!

It likely all comes from my obsessive need for affirmation. It is clearly my love language and how I relate to things. When there is a defined answer, I can usually accept the good or the bad. It is when I do not feel that the "affirmed feeling" that I get ansy (and annoying to those who attempt to affirm these feelings - AKA Kaleb)!

Hoping my feeling of being annoyed and irritated is short lived and that the mixed feelings fade away fast.

CHALLENGE ONE - Question 10

"What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?"

I have been pondering this question a lot. I have goals, I have plans; but to answer what will matter most is harder. When you view your goals while judging their long term importance then they are altered somewhat.

In ten years, I think that thing that will matter most will be if my relationship with my kids has grown deeper. I have been their mommy and taken care of them when they were young. I have hugged away boo-boos, kissed a sad face and cheered like a out-of-control football fan at a touchdown when my kids conquered simple first in their life. Now, I am TRYING to teach them responsibility, hard work, self worth and character. To me, this stage has been far harder. You go from being mommy to MOOOOOOMMMMM!

In 10 years, my kids lives will be so different. They will have made it to college, found love, likely lost love, and began to set the path towards their own future. For me, if I can make them understand during these "learning years" how much I adore them, believe in them and love them - that will matter most. (Tears are filling up in my eyes thinking that ten years is really not that far away and there are some really big things coming up in that short amount of time!)

For eternity, I guess that nothing will matter more than helping set a foundation of faith for my children, my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. All the success in the world, all the personal accomplishments will not matter if the legacy of faith is not passed down from my generation. To me, that will matter most for eternity.

CHALLENGE ONE - Question Nine

"What is the one thing that you can do to improve your prayer life this year?"

This was actually answered partially earlier. Simply, I have to learn to converse with God more intimately. I want to share my heart's desires, my deepest fears and my greatest joys with God like I would a best friend.

I also have to learn to listen patiently and silently. God will speak if I just stop and listen.

The conversation must be a two-way communication between God and I.

Soda Pop -

I have always loved soft drinks. I don't think there is anything better than the refreshment of a cold soft drink.

I use to adore ( I mean adore) coca-cola. It was my beverage of choice then and my beverage of choice now. Yet, several years ago I stopped drinking coke when I was on a diet. I loved it so much but it was just something that I had to refrain from purchasing. So now, I never purchase coke for my house. I only enjoy a coke when I am out a restaurant or somewhere where that is the available choice.

After I made a commitment to not bring coke into my house (it has been four years now), I replaced it with drinking another beverage of choice.

I went to water first (only because of diet)

.....then Sprite Zero (okay choice but hard to find at restaurants, stores and etc.)

..... then to unsweeten tea (McDonald's only and I was still on my diet), then to McDonald's sweet tea after my diet was over(Really good but not available at home and I had to go the bathroom every five seconds)

......then to my new love - Barq's Rootbeer.

I have tried everything I can think of stop loving sodas so much. They are so bad for me but I would give up food for my glass of soda. It is an addiction and I am not sure how to give it up for good without a replacement.

I need a new beverage of choice that is available wherever I am -or- maybe I just need to be strong and learn to live on water alone! (As if..)

Challenge One - Question Eight

"What is the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different than last year?"

I have said a number of times that I love my job. I get to work in a place that I actually enjoy what I do, I work for great people, and I feel like what I do matters.

By God's grace, I want to not allow the "pain in the hiney" clients to discourage me from working diligently for the others. I get a chance to help people in one of their lowest moments in life and I get to offer encouragement to them. Kind words, professional courtesy and sincere concern is something that I strive to give. I want the people that walk away from my office to feel that my handling of their case is not in my hands but something bigger (even bigger than Darrin Mish - LOL)!

I am not suggesting that I witness to clients or tell clients anything about my faith verbally. I just want them to feel something different. I want them to experience a kindness that hopefully they know must come from above.

So, what I want to do different this year is to commit myself to praying again for my clients. I use to do and this past year I was jaded by a few and I quit. Sure, I still pray for the sweetest of client but really, it is unlikely that they are who need my kindness most.

The stories I heard in 2010 were :

- A client whose home was broken into and the intruder duck taped her to her bed and forced himself on her.
- A client whose daughter was killed and their granddaughter was seriously injured.
- A client who once owned a multi-millon dollar company and had his company;s stolen from him by his family member - leaving him insolvent.
- A client who tearfully and solemnly lost her husband to cancer after only knowing for one week of his illness.
- A client who lost her grandchild in a terrible accident and the other grandchildren were injured as well.
- A client whose husband came home from overseas as a soldier and killed himself over stress. She was 9 months pregnant.
- A client who suffers from severe depression and literally can not figure out how she can handle the day to day parts of life.
- A client who......The stories go on and on.

May God allow me to change this year not to let the stories get old. Not to let the pain of others go unnoticed.

And most importantly not to forget how blessed of a life He has graced me with to share with others. I must draw on His comfort so that my stress,my pain,my anger is never felt by others.

And as Carol Kent says "It is learning to be between a Rock and Grace place!"

Challenge ONE - Question 7

"For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?"

Out of respect for those I love, I will not list names on the blog. I don't want them to feel one ounce of condemnation from me regarding their salvation. I am just hoping that the Holy Spirit will place a burden upon their heart to seek Christ.

When family is involved, it can be very difficult. If you are reading this, a simple prayer on the behalf of my unsaved family members would be appreciated. God knows who they are!

Challenge One - Question 6

"What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?"

I am hoping that within the ladies group I can help cultivate friendships with more ladies in the church. To me, women have an amazing opporotunity to strengthen the church family. In the care of one another, the fellowship between friends and the tight bonds that women build are typically far beyond that of men!

Granted, we as women, can have the exact opposite impact on a church family. We can cause tension, create drama and make life miserable for others.

So, to me this year the most helpful way that I can strengthen my church is to strengthen my friendships and sisterhood with those within the church. Hopefully that friendship will be extended beyond those in my circle.

Sounds easy enough right? Well, as I woman I know that can open me up to be vulnerable to the pain that broken friendships can cause. I also know it can bring joy beyond words for the precious time spent with girlfriends.

Challenge One - Question 5

"What is the single biggest time-waster in your life and what are you going to do about it this year?"

Define "time-waster"?

Seriously, I am a little scared to ansewr this question honestly because I don't want to consider my time on facebook as a time-waster. I keep up with family, interact with friends of the past and present, and actually remind myself of important events and dates on facebook. So, if I am going to put facebook out of my list of "time-wasters" for now....

Other than facebook, I guess that it would be watching tv. It is gratifying to sit down to escape a day with the entertainment of tv. BUT, I am not ready to give that up or do anything about it.

We are on question 5 and this is already stepping on "comfort toes", if you know what I mean!!!

I think I am going to have to come back to this question later once I determine what I feel is a "time-waster" for me or maybe I could just forget this question exist and save time?

Challenge One - Question Four

"In which spiritual discipline do you want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?"

I am excited about the opprotunity to participate in the collective reading of the bible in 2011 with our church. As I learn more, I want to increase my conversation with God in my prayer life. I want talk with God more intimiately and openly. I want to ask questions and learn to wait for his response!

Challenge One- Question Three

"What is the single most important thing that you could to do to improve the quality of your family life this year?"

Taking the time to STOP & LISTEN! I get so busy with life, work, chores and etc. that I find myself talking to my kids and husband and not with them. I want to spend this year enjoying who they are from their perspective.

Challenge One - Question Two

"What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?"

I ask God to do humanly impossible things every day. The one prayer that I have is for God to give me a defined path to follow. We have some really big decisions to make this year for our family and I want to make sure that I am making them in line with God's will for our future.

Challenge One- Question One

“What is the one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?”

I want to know more about God’s world! I love history and I love the word of God but I typically an unable to place historical events with biblical events. I forget that the world of the past I read about in the bible actually had worldly things occurring as well. The times were filled with as many choices of ungodly things to do to distract people from God (even when he walked among them)! Those who lived their faith out were NOT living in a glass bubble. With as many events that are recorded in biblical history, there are many that are not.

I want to understand the importance of God’s timing through out history. I first got a desire to learn more about God’s timing (his use of “worldly kings” and “worldly events”) during a Beth Moore bible study. I never thought of the how God might have allowed certain events, some even tragic, to draw his people closer to him.

The story of God’s provision on manna is hard to understand unless you realize the location and barriers that the people faced to provide for themselves. Even understanding a post-Eden world is hard to fully appreciate unless you realize that Adam and Eve were not citizen’s of modern culture.

I know that to enjoy God, I have know God. He has assigned to me to live today, during this time! Why? If 2011 allows me to enjoy God more, I think my pursuit of seeing HIM in the world and HIS works in the world will increase my enjoyment of HIM!

God's Amazing Race - Challenge One

Our CWF theme for 2011 is “God’s Amazing Race”. Together, we are hoping to challenge one another to run a race that helps draw our strength from Christ. We hope to learn more about enjoying the journey, refueling for the long haul of the race and allowing the pace to be steady so that we reach the finish line.

During each month, CWF will give a CHALLENGE to the ladies to help them along their path! There is no race ever ran well that did not require the runner to condition themselves and that is what we are hoping to do.

This month’s challenge is to Evaluate Our New Year! Look for my journey to the discovery of myself and the evaluation of what I want out of 2011.

Secret Sisters

I am very excited about the name that was given as my Secret Sister for 2011. I just love her to pieces and am so excited that I have the privledge of praying for her this year as a priority.

I am hesitant to do Secret Sisters each year because I don't want to let the other person down. I want to shower them with kind words, prayful thoughts and simple gifts that are given from my heart. Sometimes it is hard because I forget and others because if I feel the person will know who I am by the gifts I give. Makes it challenging!

This year will be easy though because I already think of her so often. It will be hard because I want to make my sentiments sweet and kind. I can't describe her and I can't give a hint about who she is yet but I will tell you that she is an AMAZING woman and I am thrilled that I got her name. What a great start to my challenge to run God's Amazing Race!

Momma's Recipes

Tonight I made homemade peach cobbler for the ladies meeting at our church. The kids were looking thru the recipe boxes to help me find the recipe and were asking about the recipes in my box. Some well used, some clipped from magazine and some never used but saved for a later date.

Yet, as I started glancing at what they were looking at it brought up such a warm feeling in my heart as they held certain recipes. The chicken dressing that is completely covered in spices and water marks. The Kris Kiaker cake that has stains from the cream cheese frosting. Even the "goo" recipes or "homemade playdo" recipes brought up sweet memories from playtime with the kids when they were young.

However, out of all the recipes in my boxes, none are cherised more than those that belonged to mom or grandmothers. The thought of these comfort foods bring joy to me. I remember being young and the smells of waiting for the dinner to be done. The excitement to have one of my Grandma's pink cookies. The fondness of my other Grandma's chicken and dumplings. The funny stories of never eating my Momma's chili and opening up a can of Wolf Brand chili and thinking that now I make that same chili once a month.

I hope when my kids are older, they will have memories of my cooking for them that make them feel like they have a little comfort of home!

Weight Control

My poor puppy is what you would call vertically challenged and a little "fluffy". No, it is not from long hair but rather some extra pounds that she is holding on to.

Tink loves her food. When her bowl is empty she brings it to someone so it can filled back up quickly and promptly. The failure to do so will definately end up with one sad pup!

I just can't help but get a laugh from her though. She is precious. The kinda dog that is so ugly, they are cute. One thing about her is that she almost embraces her weight and her looks. You can just tell she doesn't care!

People flock to her. We live in a very dog friendly neighborhood and she is somewhat of a people magnet. She rolls over for belly rubs at the very sight of someone walking her way! If they do not stop to pet her, she is pretty much in awe and will just sit and stare at them as if they are crazy for passing her by.

Well Kaleb said tonight that she was going to have to go on a diet and exercise regiment. My heart ached for her. I have empathy for her challenge because I understand. My poor little pup is facing a challenge that I don't even want to face.

However, I did get a little jealous thinking I wish could rely on someone other than myself to force me into a better diet and excercise regiment.

Geez there more I think about it I realize that I am actually jealous of my dog because she is not going to have to worry! No challenge over stopping to get one more White Chocolate Mocha, Krispy Kreme or Quarter Pounder for her.

If it works for her, I think I will demand that Kaleb take me for daily walks, feed me controled portions and eliminate my snacks! HA

Fly Lady

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I worked harder than any 9 to 5 job that I could work. The main reason was that there was pressure to "Do it All" and to "Do it Best". I was daily engulfed in the day to day jobs of making food, doing laundry, cleaning house, and doing what I thought was my "duty" to do.

I balanced home life with a billon other activities that I found to be extermely important of a stay at home mom. I wanted to do everything little thing that I found to be characteristic of my vision of what made a successful SAHM.

As my kids grew older, enjoyed being a part of more activites, and had social calendars I realized that doing it all was not working. The one area that I tended to consistently let go was my housework.

I love a clean house (mainly because my momma brought me up thinking that one thing out of order in a house equaled a diaster!!!)I love the smell of burning candles, pledge, Pine Sol and dryer sheets! I love to go to bed under freshly washed sheets. (My Aunt Sue told me when I was younger that you get to make a wish every time you crawl under freshly washed linens)

Yet, my love of a clean house was let go due to the lack of wanting to let other areas of my "life" go. This is when I found Flylady.

I got the my control journal and in no time (HA) I had a plan of action of how I was going to keep a clean home. I spent hours (I mean HOURS) planning out my plan. I even went as far as to do all my cooking once a month so that I could "fit it in" to my schedule. After a year or so, I started to let go of my Flylady plan of action.

I did develop my own version of Flylady. I still have certain task that take part on certain days. I still like a clean sink and I still have a few morning routines that I stick to, like swishing out my toilet in the morining. (Ironically on a side note, I was told that cleaning my toilet daily with a little swish of the brush was actually a sign of being clinically depressed. That whole story is a different blog article in itself!)

This year, I am trying to balance how to reinstate my Flylady plan without hours of valued time planning. Just wondering what all my friends do to keep their homes in order (and clean)? Do you have a daily chore list?

My Explanation

I remember the awkardness of being a teenager and the inveitable "peer pressure" of those around me. I can think back to every single pivitol moment in my life and pinpoint the exact person that I found influential in my decisions to handle the situation I was in. Some of these moments are regrets and some are achievements. While I am fully responsible for each action I took I am also reminded that others pushed me to succeed or fail(by an action or sometimes an inaction). This is not me casting blame or giving credit to any one person but simply remembering that those I surround myself with influence my actions.

As I was reading Genesis 4, I was reminded once again of why this thought is so important to me.
Gensis 4:7 says:
If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

For myself, it is more of a matter of my own self-control and ability to make sure that certain aspects of life do not rule over me. It is the thought I want to impress upon my children in this time that they have If they simply do what they feel is right (which I prayerfully hope is based upon their understanding of God's word) then they will never have to have regret over something they knew not to do. Sure, there will be curveballs that have to be dealt with but hopefully those come along less frequently.

It will always be struggle to do what is right in every situation. The fall of man was an act of a simple disobedience of eating from a specific tree, but the consquence was moumental. God said NO, Adam and Eve said YES.

In my mind, my thought process is this: "God tested Adam and Eve with the simple boundary of something they could not have. They failed to accept the "NO". It was not a matter of the fact that they commited a horrible crime. God simply put a boundary of what was best for them and they chose their own way."

If no sin had existed after Adam and Eve until the age of Misti, I know I would have failed. Why? Because, I have done the same thing. I have known in my heart a simple "NO" from God and chose to act on my own for my simple yes. I did not count God's eternal plan in the equation. Luckily, thus far God has not banished me from a land :-)

So for today, I will be reminded that I am unaware of why my answers to God might have a monumental impact on a master plan. Hopefully I will live daily to have more times when I do the right thing in every situation. If I don't, I will cling to the grace and mercy of Christ who is the only reason I am worthy to be a part of the plan at all!

God Speaking A New Word

I love getting my new bible. I have tons of bibles in my home. They are not displayed in my home as "nick nacks" but they adorn the book shelves, night stands, end tables and even the bathroom. Some of my most treasured things I own include certain bibles that I have had for years or belong to members of my family.

Yet, you might ask why I love getting new bibles each year. It is because I re-read the bible every year. Sometimes I have done the 90 day challenge, other years I have just read nightly until I finsihed, or I have followed a strict reading plan in a devotional type one year bible.

I also mark all in my bibles. I highlight, I write thoughts, I input special dates or memories within the pages of my bibles. My journey through out the years is typically "highligted" within the pages of God's word. Obviously, there have been times the treasured verses or notes were inspired out of seeking God's answers for problems or prayer request. At other times, the marks within the pages simply indicate a new treasured verse that I can hold close to my heart.

I still refer back to my bible that I love the most frequently. This bible is the one that I have owned since 1990. So many lessons have been learned and so many verses have offered hope and granted a sense of peace over two decades.

Yet the reason for a new bible is that it allows me to rediscover new things and to allow myself to opprotunity to apply the knowledge I have learned before. In one year, a certain passage may have been key and I have learned from that passage or been comforted from that passage in the past. It is ever apparent how living God's word is when I go back a learn that each year a new verse within a parable, the Psalms or tucked in the Old Testament had new meaning. It is evidence of some growth within my walk.

Sometime the growth is very small in it's significance. In other times, I can see the overwhelming change that can only be attributed to God's grace and mercy for me. Sadly, there is also the same passages that I find God still convicting me of and patiently waiting for me to understand or apply to my life.

Simply, the new bible is a commitment to continue on a renewed journey to know the God that I so desperately want to seek. I want to allow the words to saturate my being and direct me in the paths I take.

Goal Setting

I am actually an advocate of the fact that people should ALWAYS set goals for themselves and for their lives. I live by goals daily. I don't always accomplish each goal that I set but I can't imagine how one would strive to accomplish anything without a goal.

Do you travel to a new destination without a map or navigation system? I doubt it. Then how do you think that you could chart your course in life without a plan. Well, to me having goals makes sense!

I do allow myself room to "change directions" or "skip to the next challenge" without condemnation on myself. To me, this was one of the things that I have learned in life that has benefited me to the most. Why beat myself up over something that I failed at or decided not do?

I also find it best to set large goals. I have studied various teachings and read a billion books that actually say that you should only set small goals that lead to large goals. I am just not wired like that. I can manage the "small" on my own but I need the direction for where I am going.

So, I am putting some lofty large goals on my list this year again. They may not materialize in 2011 but as long as the process has began the end date is not always as important, right?

Some of my goals include:

Personal:
1. Complete the dental work that I have currently been undergoing. Such a large fear exist with this goal but it is already in progess so I will finish it!
2. Loose Weight - DUH This is kinda a staple on almost everyone I know lists.
3. Family - I will work to develop a stronger relationship with my family. A deeper appreciation for who each individual is. I will balance the time of my other activities so that my family time is prioritized.
4. Work- I will work to determine what I want from my job. I tend to love doing it all. I think sometimes though my "diversity" also is my very own enemy. I will never say no to a task asked of me but I need to be more open about where I think my strengths are with myself and others.
5. Vacation - I will actually use my vacation time this year and balance my time so that I am there for the important moments in my kids life. We will also enjoy a mini-vacation and a large vacation this year. We plan on spending a long weekend in Orlando and then Washington in the summer. We will also do something over Thanksgiving vacation time.
6. Budgets/Coupons/Savings- Even though we do not struggle with money like when we were younger and a one income family, it is still apparent that we "waste" tons of money. I want to balance the budget, save what we can, and have more for the future. Plus, I know that we are blessed and I never want to live where I forget that we could have changes in our finances anytime.
7. Really study the bible in 2011. I want to understand the bible in our reading plan at church but I have read the bible many times now. I want a new understanding of the history/timeline of the bible so that I relate more the message it brings as the living word and not a pleasurable book I read.
8. Create something that is mine.
9. Buy our new house!
10. Get a new car for me and Kaleb and START saving for Kagan to get a car. Oh my, did I just say this?