Breaking The Cycle

I have MANY flaws. I know what they are and likely am currently beating myself up over them. So, I already know that I have enough of my own issues to handle before pointing out others but tonight the impact of these "life cycles" are getting a little too close for comfort for me.

Today, I was faced one again with the acceptance of something that is actually one of my biggest fears. In loving the person and the comments that they made, I could not help but want to scream - THIS CYCLE NEEDS TO BE BROKEN! The affirmation of the actions is exactly WHY this particular situation continues to be encouraged within this persons circle of influence. (Could I be more politically correct in this statement?)

I have no intention of going into the details of this particular situation. I do however wonder what the correct way to handle lovingly rebuking an action is when you fear the influence could have a direct impact on your own family? I know pray!

My "Birth"day !!!

It has been a quite a ride since January 11, 1987! On this day, 24 years ago, I was at my little church in Texas giving my life to Christ. I remember it like it was yesterday and I hope to never forget this day as long as I live!

The song that was sung was "Just As I Am" (still one of my favorite invitation hymns ever). Brother Dale was the minister who took my confession of faith on that day with such love and such a sweet spirit. He also gave me a Spiritual Survival Kit that day and it was a treasured gift. A small booklet that helped me see my salvation as a something that needed more than a one day confession but a life long journey. I remember working thru it with my mom and being so thrilled.

The day I was baptized, I was blessed to have my mom there with me. She had been a believer for many years but never had been baptized and was encouraged to share that moment with me. It is one the bonds with her that is the strongest and most meaningful to me. I so wish I had a photograph of this moment; but it is in my heart captured always.

One of the funniest things about that day was that I can still remember it was the first day that we were in the newly built sanctuary. One of the Cook boys, myself and my mom were to be the first baptized that Sunday. Brother Dale, who happen to by my best friend's dad, pinned my name to my sleeve so that he would not forget any of our names. I remember thinking how funny that was seeing how many hours that I spent over at their home for sleepovers, play dates and church activities. Several years later that became priceless to me because I took it to mean that he knew what a special moment that was and how wanted it to be just right!

I have had my moments where God and I were not seeing eye to eye (okay, I was being stubborn) but from that moment I have always felt his peace within me. I have never doubted the love He gave for me. I wish my moments of not acting as if I knew this were fewer but I thank him for the days in between where he walked alongside me and gently guided me.

Today is day that I am overjoyed! Never will I know if there is a tomorrow but because of His grace I know eternity is waiting for me.

Mixed Feelings

I am having some mixed feelings about several things right now. I can't even verbalize what they are and they may be likely insignificant but I can not not help but want to figure out why I am having mixed feelings about these things!

It likely all comes from my obsessive need for affirmation. It is clearly my love language and how I relate to things. When there is a defined answer, I can usually accept the good or the bad. It is when I do not feel that the "affirmed feeling" that I get ansy (and annoying to those who attempt to affirm these feelings - AKA Kaleb)!

Hoping my feeling of being annoyed and irritated is short lived and that the mixed feelings fade away fast.

Soda Pop -

I have always loved soft drinks. I don't think there is anything better than the refreshment of a cold soft drink.

I use to adore ( I mean adore) coca-cola. It was my beverage of choice then and my beverage of choice now. Yet, several years ago I stopped drinking coke when I was on a diet. I loved it so much but it was just something that I had to refrain from purchasing. So now, I never purchase coke for my house. I only enjoy a coke when I am out a restaurant or somewhere where that is the available choice.

After I made a commitment to not bring coke into my house (it has been four years now), I replaced it with drinking another beverage of choice.

I went to water first (only because of diet)

.....then Sprite Zero (okay choice but hard to find at restaurants, stores and etc.)

..... then to unsweeten tea (McDonald's only and I was still on my diet), then to McDonald's sweet tea after my diet was over(Really good but not available at home and I had to go the bathroom every five seconds)

......then to my new love - Barq's Rootbeer.

I have tried everything I can think of stop loving sodas so much. They are so bad for me but I would give up food for my glass of soda. It is an addiction and I am not sure how to give it up for good without a replacement.

I need a new beverage of choice that is available wherever I am -or- maybe I just need to be strong and learn to live on water alone! (As if..)