Respecting the Unrespectable

I am NOT a fan of our current President. Very rarely will you hear me say anything more than negative words about the man elected to run our country. I am completely un-convinced HOW in the world this man got elected.

Some say God allowed His will to be done and I honestly am now more convinced that this was just one of those times when God had no prefrence. I prayed and many people I know prayed. I just honestly think this was not one of those things where God was willing to step in on the issue. Why? He might be waiting for a nation to call out to him and not a minority!

That being said (and now off my political soap box), I do feel that I should support the man elected to run our country. I will not respect the man, but I will respect the office that he holds.

In other parts of my life, I find the same situation. I can respect someone and not respect their choices. I can respect someone's title or position and not respect the man/woman. Honestly though, that is not many people or many situations that can cause me to have such a divided opionion of someone. I guess there just are not many "titles or positions" that I find to be worthy of my respect if the man/woman is unrespectable.

I guess my only problem now is that it is very easy to tell people that you do not have respect for a large poltical figure; but is it as easy to say about someone in your midst whom you don't want to offend? Or maybe it is not that you care if you offend that person but you do not want to offend others who you do respect?

A little harder to be on that soapbox. I guess I will just use the suds from that soapbox to wipe away my disgust silently.

Re-define Reality

I have been saying what I am doing this past few weeks is changing what I don't like about myself or sitautions that I have found myself in. Change is not always easy but it is typically worth the wait, investment or hard work. Right?

I have now decided that I am not going to change. I am going to re-define my reality. My life is mine to live and the perception of how I view my life and myself is actually my own reality.

First redefining was several physical appearance issues. Not what others might think I need changed but the changes I want to see when I look in a mirror. A very dear friend of mine, Heather, actually told me several months ago to wake up everyday and look for the me that I want to see and stop seeing the me I am hiding from. Very wise and very heartfelt. She actually was telling me to re-define my reality without saying it in that way.

Second, I have a few goals for my life that I want to realized. I have studied in depth this subject but it is like most things in life, it is easier to tell someone else to do it than to do it yourself. I have marked them down and given myself 3 years to complete everyone of them. They are all possible and the only thing hindering their success is myself. I will not be a barrier to my own success.

Third, I am going to make sure my family is seated first in everything I do! As a wife and mom, their success is my passion and focus.

Just simple steps to the reality that I know in my heart becoming the reality in my life.

Emotional Suicide

I have watched Beth Moore's Wising Up series twice now and tonight, just when I needed it, she said something that I really needed to hear. She said that when you harden your heart, you are committing emotional suicide. Using passages in 1 John she reminds us to love one another and a light bulb went off.

That is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to leave my heart open and lift the situation to God. He will either separate me from the situation or he will heal me from the pain I feel over it.

Either way, my heart will be left open to not be hardened. I win because I either retain the relationship or God will make the situation be far removed and I don't to have to stress over it.

I will do the right thing...Baby steps and I have already taken one towards the right thing. We will just see what God can do :-)

Forgive and Forget

There is something so easy about saying that you will forgive someone, isn't there. I am really struggling with this right now for several reasons.

First, I seem to be the only one that is hurting over this particular issue and the other person seems to be clueless of the harm done. Second, since there has been no acknowlegement of the wrong doing - it will just keep happening. I have made the point as clear as possible but it keeps happening over and over.

Kaleb said "Just cut the friendship because friends don't take advantage like that". I want to just do that but I can't seem to figure out how to just cut it out and act as if it is not going on.

So,here are a few quotes that I found:

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule. ~Lewis B.

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~William Blake, Jerusalem Smedes

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi


What does God's word say about forgiveness though. Does HE tell me to be a doormat for the situation?

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (Matthew 18:21-22 ).

Matthew gave me my answer. I guess the easist thing to go is just figure out when we get to 78 times and then that is it - I am done. HA Not seriously, I guess it is just a comfort to know that either God will change it or I can change it when enough time has passed. Sadly, if I was not so upset about it, then it would not matter and I would not be searching.

Guess we will see if I can keep it up or not....

Wait Listed....

Every year people make fun of me because I schedule my kids camps 5 or 6 months in advance. I typically start putting down deposits as soon as the camp schedule opens up.

This year, there were several circumstances that prevented me from getting on the ball and getting the kids signed up. First, they did not want to go (to scared they were going back to Pioneer camp). Second, they were wanting to go with friends. Third, I had decided if I was going to use the camp fund from church to pay for the half they are willing to donate. Forth, van schedule was locked (or so I thought).

All of this and I end up not planning my camps until really late.

NOW ---- the boys have been wait listed.

Oh well, now thankfully Kenadee got into camp while boys are gone to Big Stuf. Now just to sit and wait.

Maybe I can sign up now for next year!!!!

Monday Memories

I was talking to my mother in law today about a new book that has recently been published by an author in my husband's hometown. A member of a well-respected and highly infulential family has written a tell all book about her family's dark secrets.

I ordered promptly....

I thought the kids would love to see some of the things since they were all born in that town. A little piece of trivia from their hometown.

It did get me to thinking though. What will my family members say? What will be the memories they will tell? Even better, what memories will I share about those I love from long ago and today?

It is so easy to focus on the negative (especially if you want to sell a few books.) While these things are easily recalled it is the moments we can never get back, the days we wish could have had just one more hour in them that are the real story. The day dreams come true, the day we were uplifted.

I thought a little memory from long ago was in order for today's post.

My older brother Shane is one of the most loving men I know. I imagine him as loving with his heart and soul. A love that has no judgement and love that has no end. I have likely never shared my thoughts with him on this. My memories of him often lead to the fact that he was typically a pain :-) I say that lovingly, but he and I butted heads a lot growing up. I was a baby 8 years his junior. He was the baby for many years before me and I think that just kinda rolled into a lot of issues between us.

Yet, it my brother Shane who:
1. Sent me card with carebear stickers when I was in junior high telling me that he loved me.
2. He sent me flowers every year of my high school life.
3. When I was at tryouts one year, he showed up with roses in head to wish me luck and to give me the flowers himself.
4. When I moved to Florida, he was the first family member to come visit me.
5. When I call he NEVER forgets to ask about my husband and kids.
6. When I was in rough spot, he was the first person to show up.
7. After he married he always took and interest in me coming around as a kid.
8. He has struggled but he is the one person I know that seems content with life.
9. He has given up things I never could.
10. He fought, He cried, He loved, He lost, but he NEVER gave up.

I doubt he will ever read these words but I can't help but think of him today. A ton of memories about him are very close to my heart and I hope he knows how dear they are to me. I love you Shane!

Gonna Go Make Some New Friends

We recently moved into a new neighborhood and have really just got "settled in". When we decided to move one of the largest factors was to get the kids in a better schools. Along with the timing of the move, we decided that if the kids had the summer to maybe get to know some of the other kids around they might feel better about moving into a new school.

Leave it to Kenadee to announce out of the blue "Gonna Go Make Some New Friends". She put on her bathinig suit, brushed her hair and went off to the water fountain thing in the middle of the park where kids play beside the pool. No worries, no intimidation.

I love her confidence in herself and her willingness to put herself out there.

I wish for her true friendships. Friendships that mirror a reflection of herself in a positive and uplifting way. Frienships that support, that comfort and that last a lifetime.

As an adult, I know that some frienships are only meant for a season. I am blessed by many of them. Those that hurt or injured me are less and less important because I saw they were not a true friendship at all.

So my daughter's wisdom is far beyond her years to know for herself that she has the ability to build life long friendships or maybe it is just for day in the park. None the less,she gonna make her some new friends today and wil worry about the details later.