When a Man Loves A Woman

I am watching one of my favorite all time movies - When a Man Loves a Woman. Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia do a great job. There is a great sound track to the movie, good acting, great memorable lines and many other things to love. Yet, the story line is unbelievable to me how realistic it seems.

Meg Ryan is an acholohic. Andy Garcia is a loving, devoted and endearing spouse. He is trying to give her everything, be her everything and love her past her own issues. He is doing just what a good husband should - except it is not enough.

I love the struggle of Meg Ryan having to learn to accept herself. She has to learn to live on her own and to be the person she needs to be for herself so that she can be a better person, teacher, mother, friend and wife.

I have never struggled with acholism directly; but have the seen the effects of it on people I love dearly. I don't know the parts about that are accurate enough for the pain that this disease can cause families.

Yet, I do know first hand that I am only a better person when I am accepting who I am(flaws and all). When I hide the struggles I have or pretend they do not exist the ugly monster of self-loathing will appear. Even when I try to look at myself thru the eyes of someone else, I can be very disappointed. Even more, when someone you love tries to tell you it is all okay in love without understanding the validation of why you are feeling the way you are - it hurts too.

I struggle but I have found a few things that work for me when this feeling overtakes me:
1. Knowing the God sees the struggle, knows any pain and already has a rememdy for me is comforting.
2. Reminding myself that every single imperfection is what has made me be who I am. When I think of the fact that because of who I am - I get to call certain people my family and friends it makes me smile. Without the imperfections some of those relationships would have never been found.
3. A glass of soda and some chips also work well in this situation. If it is an emergency, well Cherry cheesecake or butter cream frosting can always do the trick - :-)

Seriously though, I just love a movie that makes me feel connected and understanding. I cry, I smile, and I hope for the characters to reconcile their differences. It is a great love story.

Challenge ONE - Question 29

"If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it"

First question- I honestly have no idea

Second question - I guess it would depend on the person and what the advice was.

Third question - I would HOPE that if it was sound advice from a valued source I would listen to it.

I guess I did not really answer this question, but it was the best that I could do :-)

Challenge One - Question 28

"What one biblical doctrine do you want most to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?"

(Cartoon from www.mightymag.com)

As most people know, my church is collectively reading thru the bible this year. As we do, I am hoping that I will learn much more biblical doctrine than I know today.

To start though, I think I am struggling most with why we don't do somethings that God's word clearly says not to do or to do. Are we, as the body of Christ, watering down God's word to make us fit into the world better? Are we falling back on the excuse that says "that is old testament law and no longer applies" because we just don't want to do something?

My biggest fear is that "my religion" might be allowing me to hold to doctrine that is not biblical. If God says ALWAYS and FOREVER, then I am certain that he actually didn't mean until I say so later?

With that being said, I do understand that some laws of the Old Testament no longer apply once Christ was born and became the living sacrifice for me. Troy did a great job the other day explaining the difference between some laws are eternal and some laws were dissolved because of God's provision in other ways.

Yet....

But...

However.....

What forever laws am I neglecting because of either "not wanting to" or just "ignorance"?

I don't want to read God's word over and over and miss the point of what God is telling me. I can cling to all the encouragement the bible gives, memorize the history and the parables but if I am missing the INSTRUCTION then that is a problem.

So, for this year I am going to begin to compile a list of God's instructions. If I am not doing them for a reason, I want to know why. If it no longer applies,then I want to understand what took the place of the previous instructions. Most importantly, I want to begin to pray for the strength, the understanding and the acceptance of what I might not be ready to do. As we all know, the fact is I am a sinner and not perfect. I will fail BUT I would rather fail trying!

P.S. No this does not mean I am become legalistic or a freak. We are not going to move into a cult society. Just going to try to live life the best way I know how!

Challenge One - Question 27

"What the single most important thing that you could do to improve your commute this year?"

I love my commute. During my morning commute, I talk to my mom every morning of my life. She and I check in with one another and it is a wonderful way to start my day.

During my mornings I can laugh my butt off, cry like a baby or just spend a few minutes complaining or rejoicing over something that is happening in my life. In my approximate 30 minutes of a drive each morning I get some "mommy time" with my mom! I get the pep talk I might need or the wise advice on a number of situations.

The most precious part of this time is that I get to find out what is happening with her and my Daddy. I get to know they are okay and be a part of their life.

As for my commute in the morning, I could not think of anything better to do with my time!

For the afternoon, I try to take care of any calls I need to make, appointments to be made, or petty/routine issues that I need to do. It is the few minutes I can handle business during "work hours" of a normal business.

Of all the things I want to improve, I am actually pretty happy with my commute. Plus, if all else fails I turn the music up, open my sunroof and sing like a crazy women! It is just what the doctor would order on some days!

Challenge ONE - Question 26

"To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount of time this year?"

The CWF (Christian Women's Fellowship) at our church. I love the ladies of NBCC and am excited to be a part of a group of ladies who are always there for one another.

Beth, Quit Stepping On My Toes!!!

I am a big fan, wait no a big follower, of Beth Moore (Yes, I have been listening in church on Sunday Mornings). I feel like her Bible Stuides are written just for me at times. Like after a deep conversation, she just went home and wrote a few chapters to encourage me.

Well, last night I all of a sudden felt like she was stepping on my toes!

At first, I was thinking she might have overheard a conversation I had with Kaleb regarding a few topics that he and I have discussed in the last few weeks. I am now pretty sure that she read my diary; because she was just too close to stepping all over my toes! Okay - I admit, this is likely not the case either because I have already heard her talk about the same things before.

I guess in this season of my life, I really was impacted more by this study on David than I was the previous time that I did it. I think the depth of where her words hit me were in places where I needed to stop and think about a few things.

Even though Beth highlighted a few things that I really did not want to deal with, I do appreciate her. I will be thankful that God uses her in a such a global way and allows her to personally connect with myself and so many others.

I will not even hold last night against her; but really Beth, please quit stepping on my toes!

Challenge One - Question 25

"What is the one skill you want to learn or improve this year?"

I want to pick back up quilting. I learned several years ago and then just stopped. I really want to finish my kids t-shirt quilts this year.