Just a few words about the minutes in my life that fill up a lifetime journey of years of joy. My life calculated in minutes is a reminder that each minute, every 60 seconds, every 24 hours and each year is just a small glimpse of the wonderful eternity my God is preparing for me.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Playing Stay At Home Mom
With the demands of my life in the past few years, I have completely lost what it was like to be a Stay At Home Mom. What once was my ordinary daily activity was replaced with priorities of my job and my kid's ever busy activities.
I don't regret being a Stay At Home Mom nor do I regret being a Working Mom. They each have had their seasons in my life. I embraced both during the seasons that they were the role I played in my life.
Now, I am in an in between season of my life. This part of my life is where I am on a leave of absence from my work and giving being a a stay at home mom my full attention for this moment in time. Something that in my mind there was no option as to IF this would be the way it was or not.
This part of my life is filled with cleaning, cooking, baking, dog walking, my kid's activities, doctor's appointments, and etc. It is more work than any job! It is 24/7.
For now, we don't what will come next. Even though I had my goals and plans all laid out for the next five years, God took a black sharpie and just put a big "TBD" (to be determined) over my whole life plan.
I am a planner. What do I do now if I don't have the exact plan or the exact time frame in which to make a plan?
I am trusting that God has the plan and this is comforting. Yet, the not knowing still leaves me anxious and scared.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The longest two minutes....
On Sunday, I had an infection that caused me to have to go the urgent care. The infection caused my face to swell up and was pretty painful. Luckily, it was some kind of reaction or whatever that is being treated with antibiotic and steroids.
Yet, did you know before you get a prescription for a steroid that they make you take a pregnancy test? The young (and very pregnant herself) doctor said "Well, I am going to get you on your way but we need to take a pregnancy test first to make sure that the prescription I am going to give you is safe in the chance that you are pregnant".
She showed me to the restroom and pointed toward the small cup and towelette that was on the shelving. With a few instructions, routine and not needed, she left the room to allow me to finish up this simple task. After completing said needed task, washing up and returning to my room I had the longest two minutes I can remember in a long time.
Within two minutes, my mind stretched from "WHAT IF" to "NO WAY" and included everything in between. In two minutes I considered the following:
- I have teenagers. Kagan is 16 so by the time this kid even goes to school Kagan will not even be at home any more.
- I saw the cutest nursery set up at Babies R Us that I would love to get.
- Will I break the tradition of "K" names with a fourth child?
- This is going to freak Kaleb out!
- My mom is going to freak out too!
- I bet all three of my kids would be so much help with a baby. They are all really good with kids and this would be so much easier with only one baby at a time.
- What age do women quit having babies? Aren't I getting too old?
- I am going to kill Marshall Kaleb Moss (yep, all three names here)!
- I think Kenadee would like a sister and hate having a brother at this point.
- Both Kaleb and I were younger when our parents had us. Imagine if their life did not include us?
- Wow, I can't believe Bubba was still having kids at my age? How many kids does he have again?
- Would I keep working?
- What would happen if I tried to work from home some and also go to the office. I don't want someone else raising my baby.
- Oh wait....the baby clothes are so cute. Plus I can't wait to look at all the new things that are out for babies.
- I am going to Kill Kaleb!
- God is so good to me and I just said I would deal with what ever He gives me in the new year. Is this a sign? What is He going to try to teach me?
- Disney for a baby is free.
- I just lost 40 lbs and now I am going to gain it all back.
- I can eat whatever I want if I am pregnant.
- I want to make a quilt for the baby or maybe Ledra will help me if I get the stuff.
Ya get the point. I will not continue with what all I thought in minute number two!
Needless to say, time almost stood still. There was something that could have been such a sweet blessing if God had decided that was needed. However, I honestly can say I was relieved and so glad that God had not chosen this path for me at this point in my life. While I think every child is a blessing and a gift from God and that I would have been thrilled if so - I can also say I feel just a blessed that it was a negative result when the doctor returned to the room.
My life is moving forward where I am out of the child bearing days of life. I am beyond this point because now I am having a crazy time raising teens! I am closer to being the age of grandchildren than having babies of my own. (OH MY GOODNESS - I AM GETTING OLD!) - This is another post all itself.
I was reminded that just one little moment in time can change the destiny of years to come. Yet, I was happy to be reminded that no matter what the surprises or life changes that be made with one phone call, one visit with a friend or even learned in two minutes at a doctor that there is plenty of life to be had. Until the day I die, I get to live with unknowns and possibilities. I get to embrace seconds....minutes...hours...days that will change my life forever.
The only thing certain is that God has control over the tiniest of details. That works for me.
Oh yea --- I am not freaking out so the results were negative if you did not catch that above. And yes...Kaleb is still alive!
Yet, did you know before you get a prescription for a steroid that they make you take a pregnancy test? The young (and very pregnant herself) doctor said "Well, I am going to get you on your way but we need to take a pregnancy test first to make sure that the prescription I am going to give you is safe in the chance that you are pregnant".
She showed me to the restroom and pointed toward the small cup and towelette that was on the shelving. With a few instructions, routine and not needed, she left the room to allow me to finish up this simple task. After completing said needed task, washing up and returning to my room I had the longest two minutes I can remember in a long time.
Within two minutes, my mind stretched from "WHAT IF" to "NO WAY" and included everything in between. In two minutes I considered the following:
- I have teenagers. Kagan is 16 so by the time this kid even goes to school Kagan will not even be at home any more.
- I saw the cutest nursery set up at Babies R Us that I would love to get.
- Will I break the tradition of "K" names with a fourth child?
- This is going to freak Kaleb out!
- My mom is going to freak out too!
- I bet all three of my kids would be so much help with a baby. They are all really good with kids and this would be so much easier with only one baby at a time.
- What age do women quit having babies? Aren't I getting too old?
- I am going to kill Marshall Kaleb Moss (yep, all three names here)!
- I think Kenadee would like a sister and hate having a brother at this point.
- Both Kaleb and I were younger when our parents had us. Imagine if their life did not include us?
- Wow, I can't believe Bubba was still having kids at my age? How many kids does he have again?
- Would I keep working?
- What would happen if I tried to work from home some and also go to the office. I don't want someone else raising my baby.
- Oh wait....the baby clothes are so cute. Plus I can't wait to look at all the new things that are out for babies.
- I am going to Kill Kaleb!
- God is so good to me and I just said I would deal with what ever He gives me in the new year. Is this a sign? What is He going to try to teach me?
- Disney for a baby is free.
- I just lost 40 lbs and now I am going to gain it all back.
- I can eat whatever I want if I am pregnant.
- I want to make a quilt for the baby or maybe Ledra will help me if I get the stuff.
Ya get the point. I will not continue with what all I thought in minute number two!
Needless to say, time almost stood still. There was something that could have been such a sweet blessing if God had decided that was needed. However, I honestly can say I was relieved and so glad that God had not chosen this path for me at this point in my life. While I think every child is a blessing and a gift from God and that I would have been thrilled if so - I can also say I feel just a blessed that it was a negative result when the doctor returned to the room.
My life is moving forward where I am out of the child bearing days of life. I am beyond this point because now I am having a crazy time raising teens! I am closer to being the age of grandchildren than having babies of my own. (OH MY GOODNESS - I AM GETTING OLD!) - This is another post all itself.
I was reminded that just one little moment in time can change the destiny of years to come. Yet, I was happy to be reminded that no matter what the surprises or life changes that be made with one phone call, one visit with a friend or even learned in two minutes at a doctor that there is plenty of life to be had. Until the day I die, I get to live with unknowns and possibilities. I get to embrace seconds....minutes...hours...days that will change my life forever.
The only thing certain is that God has control over the tiniest of details. That works for me.
Oh yea --- I am not freaking out so the results were negative if you did not catch that above. And yes...Kaleb is still alive!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Dear 2012
Dear 2012,
I am sitting here thinking of how excited I am to meet you. Really, I have been giddy over the last week for the unexpected blessings and new opportunities that await me and my family in the new year.
Just so you know, 2011 and I had a great relationship. As a family, we had many new challenges that we faced together and more triumphs that we claimed. We experienced life and embraced the blessings that unfolded daily thru out the year.
In 2012, I have new goals, new aspirations and most especially a new focus. It feels a little empowering to be so determined to accomplish the impossible! I will end 2012 with a sense of accomplishment, I am certain, because I am focused to achieve. Even if I find myself not accomplishing the entire portion of the goal I will have at least made a step in the right direction. I know I can at least do that much!
My 2012 Goals are:
Personal -
Like every other single American I plan to shed some pounds! I got 40 lbs (that is a small child) off before Thanksgiving and in January I plan to pick back up and get moving!
I also plan to continue with my journey to rediscover ME! This will not make sense to many but to me, I have found that with all the hats in life that I wear that I have overlooked ME! I am not aiming to become self absorbent but self aware. To embellish the parts of myself that I love and remove the things about myself that I am not happy with.
Spiritually -
I am going to read the bible chronologically this year. A deeper understanding of the history and timelines of events in the bible.
In 2011, I started the Read The Bible Thru in a year challenge. I finished but did not participate in all the studies at the church. I likely missed out on some great feedback from people who are much wiser than me but then again - sometimes I think I just need t let what God is trying to teach me soak in.
I also plan to listen more. This is the hardest thing for me to do is to STOP and listen for God to tell me what He has in store for me. I miss so many things that God wants for me because I am busy doing to get to a point where if I just would have listed God would have taken me there sooner.
Financially-
Balanced Budget! - This is an obvious goal since it always gets a little out of "balance" at the end of the year. Number 1 goal of January is to get this back to where it should be so that it does not creep into other months. Get those credit cards back down to a $0 balance after unexpected extra cash needs at Christmas time.
Home Purchase - I am hoping to find my new home this year. It got put off in 2011 for several reasons and I am hoping that sometime in the fall we will be ready to possibly move into our new home. This is kinda one of those things that I can't make happen over night but I am putting all the pieces into the right place for when it happens.
Planning - We have a lot of big purchases and/or big obligations that are coming up in the next few years. This year, I plan to see where we need to be financially to make sure that kids college education is secure. Oh and there is some matter of a possible car for certain almost 16 year old. A few changes needs to be made but I am hoping that 2012 is geared up to afford me these luxuries.
Family-
Immediate Family - I plan to spend more time with my kids. Re-establish the family outings that we have gotten away from. Mini weekends, tank full day trips or even more vacations. I also plan to not make my family second to other things that sometimes get in the way. I want to spend quality time with Kagan, Kade and Kenadee that involves knowing them more. They are getting older and the line between drill sargaent and friend is pretty thin but I want to invest more time in my relationship with them.
My hubby- he deserves so much more than I give him. I find that I give myself 100% in other areas but he often is neglected because I can count on him to always be there. Gonna make sure that 2012 is another year of strengthening the relationship that is most important. My commitment to also help him finally open his shop this year is my number one focus. I want Maged Industries to prosper in 2012 because Kaleb is so talented and amazing at what he does. I want him to share that with others.
My parents - I miss them. Going to make sure that I see them this year. I am also excited that they have entered into the world of facebook, email and text messaging. Really hoping that maybe we can do a mini-vacation with them and there is even talk of going home for the holidays this year.
My extended family - I want to connect more. We have family that lives in Florida that we rarely see and my Texas family is becoming less often communicated with. Sure, I love the facebook interaction, but I think I am missing the heart to heart family time with them as well.
My Job-
This year has been a little more difficult in work. I love my job and what I get to do. Yet, there are things that I know need to change to make it better. I am not going to complain, I am just going to be that change. I think I have gotten away from that by trying to hold others accountable but then I am just convicted that if I do the right thing then I will at least feel the accomplishment.
My Friendships
I have a few friendships that I am going to really invest in this year. One of my best friends and I only saw one another a few times this past year. We are going to change that for 2012. Plus, there are people that I invested way more in during prior years when my real friends deserved my loyalty and my time. I failed on giving of my time to the wrong people and that will not happen this year.
I learned a lot in 2011 to make me a better person but I am looking forward to you and I meeting in a few days. My promise to you, my dear 2012, is that I am ready to work hard and play harder. I will not give up no matter what you bring. I will pray daily to thank God for blessing me with another day and I will pray harder that God will guide me to the next day. I will await God's answers to the big questions I have and I will patiently listen for God's direction for my path.
Let's do this 2012!!!
Love,
Misti
I am sitting here thinking of how excited I am to meet you. Really, I have been giddy over the last week for the unexpected blessings and new opportunities that await me and my family in the new year.
Just so you know, 2011 and I had a great relationship. As a family, we had many new challenges that we faced together and more triumphs that we claimed. We experienced life and embraced the blessings that unfolded daily thru out the year.
In 2012, I have new goals, new aspirations and most especially a new focus. It feels a little empowering to be so determined to accomplish the impossible! I will end 2012 with a sense of accomplishment, I am certain, because I am focused to achieve. Even if I find myself not accomplishing the entire portion of the goal I will have at least made a step in the right direction. I know I can at least do that much!
My 2012 Goals are:
Personal -
Like every other single American I plan to shed some pounds! I got 40 lbs (that is a small child) off before Thanksgiving and in January I plan to pick back up and get moving!
I also plan to continue with my journey to rediscover ME! This will not make sense to many but to me, I have found that with all the hats in life that I wear that I have overlooked ME! I am not aiming to become self absorbent but self aware. To embellish the parts of myself that I love and remove the things about myself that I am not happy with.
Spiritually -
I am going to read the bible chronologically this year. A deeper understanding of the history and timelines of events in the bible.
In 2011, I started the Read The Bible Thru in a year challenge. I finished but did not participate in all the studies at the church. I likely missed out on some great feedback from people who are much wiser than me but then again - sometimes I think I just need t let what God is trying to teach me soak in.
I also plan to listen more. This is the hardest thing for me to do is to STOP and listen for God to tell me what He has in store for me. I miss so many things that God wants for me because I am busy doing to get to a point where if I just would have listed God would have taken me there sooner.
Financially-
Balanced Budget! - This is an obvious goal since it always gets a little out of "balance" at the end of the year. Number 1 goal of January is to get this back to where it should be so that it does not creep into other months. Get those credit cards back down to a $0 balance after unexpected extra cash needs at Christmas time.
Home Purchase - I am hoping to find my new home this year. It got put off in 2011 for several reasons and I am hoping that sometime in the fall we will be ready to possibly move into our new home. This is kinda one of those things that I can't make happen over night but I am putting all the pieces into the right place for when it happens.
Planning - We have a lot of big purchases and/or big obligations that are coming up in the next few years. This year, I plan to see where we need to be financially to make sure that kids college education is secure. Oh and there is some matter of a possible car for certain almost 16 year old. A few changes needs to be made but I am hoping that 2012 is geared up to afford me these luxuries.
Family-
Immediate Family - I plan to spend more time with my kids. Re-establish the family outings that we have gotten away from. Mini weekends, tank full day trips or even more vacations. I also plan to not make my family second to other things that sometimes get in the way. I want to spend quality time with Kagan, Kade and Kenadee that involves knowing them more. They are getting older and the line between drill sargaent and friend is pretty thin but I want to invest more time in my relationship with them.
My hubby- he deserves so much more than I give him. I find that I give myself 100% in other areas but he often is neglected because I can count on him to always be there. Gonna make sure that 2012 is another year of strengthening the relationship that is most important. My commitment to also help him finally open his shop this year is my number one focus. I want Maged Industries to prosper in 2012 because Kaleb is so talented and amazing at what he does. I want him to share that with others.
My parents - I miss them. Going to make sure that I see them this year. I am also excited that they have entered into the world of facebook, email and text messaging. Really hoping that maybe we can do a mini-vacation with them and there is even talk of going home for the holidays this year.
My extended family - I want to connect more. We have family that lives in Florida that we rarely see and my Texas family is becoming less often communicated with. Sure, I love the facebook interaction, but I think I am missing the heart to heart family time with them as well.
My Job-
This year has been a little more difficult in work. I love my job and what I get to do. Yet, there are things that I know need to change to make it better. I am not going to complain, I am just going to be that change. I think I have gotten away from that by trying to hold others accountable but then I am just convicted that if I do the right thing then I will at least feel the accomplishment.
My Friendships
I have a few friendships that I am going to really invest in this year. One of my best friends and I only saw one another a few times this past year. We are going to change that for 2012. Plus, there are people that I invested way more in during prior years when my real friends deserved my loyalty and my time. I failed on giving of my time to the wrong people and that will not happen this year.
I learned a lot in 2011 to make me a better person but I am looking forward to you and I meeting in a few days. My promise to you, my dear 2012, is that I am ready to work hard and play harder. I will not give up no matter what you bring. I will pray daily to thank God for blessing me with another day and I will pray harder that God will guide me to the next day. I will await God's answers to the big questions I have and I will patiently listen for God's direction for my path.
Let's do this 2012!!!
Love,
Misti
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas Night
This year was a special Christmas in our family. A Christmas that was centered around TEENAGERS! (Well, Kenadee is a pre-teen but acts every bit of a teen!) This made Christmas a little less about toys and more about thoughtful gifts of love.
When my kids were small, I use to take them to the Dollar Store to buy their gifts for their siblings. Mainly because at a $1, they could buy ANYTHING In the whole store for one another. This made the possibility of gift giving endless to them. As they have grown older, things have changed and they no longer shop for one another at the $1 store. Instead, they thoughtfully think of the other one and their personality and give a gift that they KNOW the others will love. This part of Christmas is so treasured.
The gifts my kids give one another are so special because I can tell how well they know they one another. How much they care to give each other something special and unique just to them.
As a mom, I also get a little teary eyed because I want to pray my children will continue this tradition as they grow older. I hope that when they enjoy Christmas that they will continue to give one another gifts of love....Even if it is a small handwritten letter or an extravagant gift. As long as they have done what they could for one another in love and with the sincerest thought the gift does not even need to cost a cent.
This Christmas closes but once again I am reminded of what Christmas gift giving is all about. I am left hoping I never grow a Grinch like heart where my holidays don't mean what they should. I know too many people (even me sometimes) who give out of obligation, fail to give when they should and make the holidays a day to get thru rather than a day to treasure.
Thank you to Kagan, Kade & Kenadee for being children who inspire their mother to be more like you. I am blessed to be your mom and to each of you I honestly can say that the gift of each of you in my life is the greatest gift of all. I love you all and wish you a very Merry Christmas!
When my kids were small, I use to take them to the Dollar Store to buy their gifts for their siblings. Mainly because at a $1, they could buy ANYTHING In the whole store for one another. This made the possibility of gift giving endless to them. As they have grown older, things have changed and they no longer shop for one another at the $1 store. Instead, they thoughtfully think of the other one and their personality and give a gift that they KNOW the others will love. This part of Christmas is so treasured.
The gifts my kids give one another are so special because I can tell how well they know they one another. How much they care to give each other something special and unique just to them.
As a mom, I also get a little teary eyed because I want to pray my children will continue this tradition as they grow older. I hope that when they enjoy Christmas that they will continue to give one another gifts of love....Even if it is a small handwritten letter or an extravagant gift. As long as they have done what they could for one another in love and with the sincerest thought the gift does not even need to cost a cent.
This Christmas closes but once again I am reminded of what Christmas gift giving is all about. I am left hoping I never grow a Grinch like heart where my holidays don't mean what they should. I know too many people (even me sometimes) who give out of obligation, fail to give when they should and make the holidays a day to get thru rather than a day to treasure.
Thank you to Kagan, Kade & Kenadee for being children who inspire their mother to be more like you. I am blessed to be your mom and to each of you I honestly can say that the gift of each of you in my life is the greatest gift of all. I love you all and wish you a very Merry Christmas!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
CWF Photo Challenge - Day 9
A picture of the person that has gotten you thru the most
There is no doubt about it - Kaleb Moss!
There is no doubt about it - Kaleb Moss!
CWF Photo Challenge - Day 8
A picture of something that makes you laugh
Hey, can't blame a mom for trying!
Hey, can't blame a mom for trying!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thru the Bible 2011 - Joshua
Joshua is book full of childhood stories and heroic adventures. It is a book of the bible that shows the faith of Joshua but it also contains my favorite bible character.
A few years ago, in a bible study, we were talking about women in the bible that we found ourselves to be most like. Of the choices, I picked Rahab. The more I study about her and put into perpesctive her life - the more I think most Christians are like her.
Thanks to the story of Rahab, I am reminded that:
- God never uses your profession to define your importance for His calling.
- God never requries you to be perfect to be chosen.
- God can destroy a sinful nation and save a sinful women who choses him.
- The faith shown by a woman who had only heard about "God" was able to experience Him and live in harmony with his people.
- The impact of one woman "changing" herself brought about her being a part of the lineage of Christ.
Rahab is unique in her story line in the bible. I can not relate to living the type of life she lived but I can relate to making mistakes. I bet Rehab felt guilt and concern over her past but I also know she never regretted picking God when she did. She might have just been one of the few people where being in the wrong place at the right time - was perfect timing for God to show his grace to her.
A simple sign of a red cord, in the midst of a fallen city, points towards a chosen daughter of the King. Gives me goosebumps when I think of how she must have felt as she walked out among the devasting rubble of destroyed Jericho. She likely saw the faces and bodies of those who once looked down upon her, who abused her and who counted her as a nobody! Yet, because she chose to be faithful --- God saw her and counted her as somebody!
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